Monday, July 13, 2009

Fifth Chakra:

This chakra lies in the throat.
'It is a bridge chakra, allowing us to receive nurturance, and permitting us to express what we deeply know and feel. Hence the fifth chakra is the center both of receiving and of the articulation of our creative energy. It is also called the communication chakra.'

I did this card back in May, and was happy with it. I felt it expressed me as a communicator (which is my job, teaching all day, talking and communicating) and also loving to talk non stop whenever and wherever I could .

Before I posted it, two problems hit me at the same time. I had to have two bottom front teeth removed due to gum disease (which my father suffered from too), and mythroat/voice started to give me problems along with severe heartburn.

To cut a looong story short, after 3 months of having a denture fitted (using a temporary one that was painful and inadequate), and also having extensive tests and an endoscopy/gastroscopy for my heartburn and voice.......

I now have my new denture, which needs readjusting every week, but fits comfortably now, and the endoscopy revealed no major underlying illnesses, just this severe heartburn (which could also be burning my voice)...also my voice (which is a muscle), that is weakening after 40 years of teaching.

This all 'threw' me for months. I found myself becoming depressed at the realisation that I was getting (and feeling) a lot older, no matter how 'young' I feel in my head; that my physical being was in fact 'turning on me', and that I had to start to look ahead ---to what???

Suddenly, everything became an issue...what's it all about?' I wondered and still do. What were all those years and years of working and striving and tecahing been all about? What has my marriage/s been all about? Why did I have kids? What have I achieved? Suddenly I fell into a large, dark pit and remained there for a long time.

Here's the really scary part....I had no one to talk to about it, no one to really HEAR ME.
At the end of the day, I have been listening to everyone, and giving and giving and giving, and now I get to the Autumn of my life, and no one is listening to me!

Or is it possible that I have worn so many masks for so many years that no one would believe me if I actually told them the truth?


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What in heaven's name is strange about a grandmother dancing nude? I'll bet lots of grandmothers do it. Sally Rand